I need to learn

I need to learn

I used to believe that the Sun was god but now I know
It is time. Death does not exist, only constant flow
Of energy through matter and no matter
How much your cry, how much you howl and despair,
There is no loss that can be trusted or measured.
The pain, however crippling, is yours, and yours alone.

I got used to being here, in this form,
Filled myself with those sunsets, those favourite places,
Meals and faces and slow strolls in the park
With a friend or two.
In this imaginary apartments I got cosy
With walls heavy with pictures of my past and grew
Numbed to the truth.

There are no walls to the endless succession of seconds.
I have allowed myself to forget
How irrelevant all else is and now it is difficult for me
To welcome the notion
That relentless stream of meaningless dewdrops
Cannot be interrupted. It is my own fault.

Hamstrung, with my eyes closed to the obvious I need to learn:
No matter how much I’ll try, I will never be gone,
Just transformed into something else and then something else again, without

An end.